Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen

Victorian Society had very high expectations for the ways which “Ladies and Gentlemen” were supposed to act. This was a time where nature stopped being a focus and society and class started being critical. It was now not necessarily your intellect that got you ahead but rather your “character” which could be defined superficially based on trivialities such as your cricket skills, how elite your public school was, and who you married. Not only were certain behaviors expected, but it many were more then just customs they were laws. Women in this time had no legal status and were their purpose was thought to be only to serve men. Once a women married all legal rights and property were handed over to the husband since the two were considered one. While many women accepted their role with honor, others spoke out against how these restrictions and chose to show the injustice of the inequality.
Queen Victoria was a prominent woman of her time. She often pondered her feelings on the way women were repressed in society, and the restrictions marriage placed on a women. She wrote letters to her daughters where she often commiserated over the pains of marriage and parenting. “When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl – and look at the ailing, aching state of a young wife generally is doomed too – which you can’t deny is the penalty of marriage.” (579) She looked at marriage with regret and felt like she had no freedoms or individuality. Her whole life became serving her husband and children and she no longer was given the same respects as any other person. Despite hating the position of women, she felt it was a reality not to be challenged. She believed that God determined the distinct roles of the different genders and too go against it would be heresy. “Woman would become the most hateful, heartless, and disgusting human beings were she allowed to unsex herself; and where would be the protection which man was intended to give the weaker sex?” (580-581) These are very strong words unfortunately felt by a majority of European citizens. It amazes me how they would just sit back and believe that they were below men. Fortunately, for me other voices in the argument were not prepared to be so complacent.
Caroline Norton suffered an unhappy marriage where her husband left her, took her children, and even tried to take her earnings as a writer. All this of course was perfectly legal! Though she had done nothing to deserve this, by law her husband had full rights to all her property, money, and even her children. In England at the time the mother was granted no custody rights to her own children. Norton was not the type of woman who was just going to sit back and let this happen. Instead she wrote a letter to the Queen pointing out the injustices of England's law and telling how she had been cheated. The Bronte sisters also made it very publicly known through their writing how unfairly women were treated in the profession of Governess. In a letter to her sister Emily, Charlotte Bronte expresses the hardships of being a “lady” and attending to the more privileged end of society. “I used to think I should like to be in the stir of grand folks’ society but I have had enough of it – it is dreary work to look on and listen.” (560)
Though subtle in their fight Norton and Bronte both paved the way for future women activists.
The Victorian Era seemed to be full of shallow aspirations and superficial rewards. Everyone strived to mimic the nobles and upper class, yet they were failing to think for themselves. Living by these rules caused them to sacrifice any individuality and as women any freedoms. I am just grateful to live in an era where society is not based on birth right or education, but rather rewards on hard work and achievement.